Clothes shopping can be challenging on body image. This is especially true for adolescents going through body changes while at the same time needing to fit in with peers and following fashion trends.
When adolescents don’t fit into mainstream clothing stores, it’s even more distressing.
You can support your adolescent’s positive body image even through these challenges!
Clothing should fit her, she shouldn’t change her body to fit the clothes
YOUR ADOLESCENT’S BODY IS NOT A PROBLEM! When trying on clothes, make sure to emphasize that it’s the clothes that don’t fit, rather than her body being a problem.
I recall speaking with a six-year-old whose blouse buttons kept opening and she said frustratedly, “Ugh, these buttons are so bad that they don’t stay closed!” She didn’t put herself down for not fitting in the shirt, but rather recognized that the shirt was the problem and it needed to be improved.
When shopping together, rather than you saying something does or doesn’t fit, ask your adolescent how it feels? Let them decide if something feels good before deciding how it looks. Clothes serve a purpose and need to feel right.
Your adolescent is more than her body
Build up your adolescent’s self worth beyond their appearance. Help them create an appreciation for who they are over how they look.
This is an exercise you can (and should) do all the time, not in the change room. Know the greatness of your kids and point them out to them. Help your adolescent recognize their value beyond their appearance.
Read this post for four tips to help your adolescent develop positive body image.
Shop in stores with inclusive sizing
Prepare the shopping experience to be as successful as possible. Make sure the stores you’re planning on going to carries your adolescent’s size. Shop in a store that carries clothing your adolescent will fit in! Check out this list of 42 best plus size clothing brands.
Validate their pain
It’s not fair that stores don’t have clothing that works for her. It’s painful and demoralizing. Validate those feelings and that pain. Allow her to feel it and sit with her in that frustration and hurt.
Advocate for more inclusive sizing in stores
Stores want to make money. So if they see there’s a need for more sizes and they know people will buy them, they’ll be more likely to stock them. Talk to store owners about selling a broader range of sizes and buy the clothes (if you like them and they work for you) when they sell them.
Discourage changing her body to fit in straight sizes
Trying to change her body involves risky behaviors including restricting food or excessive exercise. These are harmful both short term and long term for developing adolescents, and don’t even guarantee long-term weight loss.
Bodies come in all sizes and shapes and trying to change that can be very harmful.
Helping your adolescent feel confident and comfortable in her current body can support her physical and emotional health long-term, and prevent negative eating habits and risky behaviors.
The Takeaway
Clothes shopping can bring up a lot of negative emotions around body image. Help your adolescent separate their body from their shopping experience.
You can do this by emphasizing the clothing fit (rather her body being the problem), helping your adolescent see themselves as more than their body, and shopping in stores that are more likely to have clothing that fits. Advocating for more inclusive sizing can help with making future shopping experiences more successful. Validate your adolescent’s pain and challenges while shopping, while also discouraging her from taking measures to change her body.
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