Teen independence is an important stage of development. Adolescence is a time when kids start individuating themselves from their family and developing their own identity. Peers play a bigger role in their beliefs and behaviors, and they start distancing themselves from many of their parents’ actions and values.
This is developmentally appropriate as kids begin their journey into independent adults. It can be challenging for parents to support this independence while still teaching and modeling appropriate adult behaviors. This conflict is often noticeable around food. Adolescents have more independence around eating, and can make some of their own food choices. However, it can be challenging for parents to ensure adolescents are still eating a healthy, balanced, and variety-full diet.
What does teen food independence look like?
Food, while often being a social experience, is also very personal. Families have their own cultures around eating, beliefs about foods, and values and ideals around both. Because of this, when tweens begin separating from the family, it can show up with wanting to make changes in their food and eating environment.
Very often adolescents want to eat completely differently from their parents.
- They may want to become vegetarian, or stop being vegetarian.
- They want to eat healthier than the family, or less restrictively than they grew up doing.
- They want to explore more adventurous eating – new cuisines, new methods of preparation, etc.
Or it may not be a full-fledged desire to be different. It could be just having more independence and their own money translates into buying foods parents don’t approve of or rarely have at home.
Challenges around teen food independence
The challenge parents face are
- supporting this change, while not taking it personally
- ensuring adolescents are eating a varied and nourishing diet and
- protecting adolescent’s good relationship with food and their body while exploring new food experiences
Supporting teen food independence
Parents can play a role in teen food independence, in guiding and reviewing those independent experiences to be successful.
Involve teens in food preparation
Involve your teen in meal preparation. Let them choose some meals and/or make them. Give input to ensure meals are nutritionally balanced and will be satisfying and nourishing. Read this post all about independently packing school lunch.
Include your teen in food shopping
Guide your adolescent on making a grocery shopping list, preparing a budget, and sticking to both. Bring them shopping or let them do a solo shopping trip with a budget and some guidance.
Support eating a variety of foods
Let them choose from a variety of prepared snack foods that are easy to eat and provide a variety of nutrients. Having sliced fruit and vegetables, yogurts, easy frozen snacks, dips, etc. Give them independence while providing a variety of foods. This also demonstrates that you trust them to make decisions and nourish themselves appropriately. This helps them learn to trust themselves and know they can trust their body and their appetite.
Encourage social eating
Allow them to eat out with friends. You can provide guidance on foods to include in their order, but don’t overstep into telling them what to order. Eating out with friends is a big step into independence and being accepted by peers. If your adolescent is open to it, you can discuss their experience afterwards, and offer guidance on improving the experience.
Continue modeling
Show your adolescent how to nourish herself. Model including a variety of foods and eating for enjoyment, and more than just for nutritional intake.
Conclusion
Food independence is an important stage of development for teens. While it can be a challenging adjustment for parents, don’t give up on it! Your parenting role is still crucial to support your adolescent’s growth! Involve your adolescent in food preparation and food shopping, offer a variety of foods and trust your adolescent to choose from that, encourage your teen to eat with friends, and be a role model when eating at home.
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